An unfortunate coincidence

What kind of a shop are they running over there on Franklin? The brass promises an investigation.

Racist newspaper? Here?

People sometimes behave like such savages.

Canned Graham

In a surprising display of good taste, WMAL (above) fired Michael Graham yesterday because he refused to concede that his statement that the entire religion of Islam was a "terrorist organization" may have been a tad sweeping. In fact, all he had to do to keep his job was read a statement saying that his characterization was "too broad," and that he employs "hyperbole" from time to time.

Which of course would be the truth. Instead, Graham dug in his heels (I guess all those afternoons spent watching daytime TV and eating oven fries stiffened his indignity bone). On his website today, Graham issues a long statement that starts "Well, they got me," and goes on to blame station management for caving to extremists. Oddly, at one point, he calls moderate Muslims "good people," which I think was actually more than what his bosses were asking for.

The winner in this? Well, probably no one. It's not like WMAL is gonna fill the spot with someone reasonable--considered, thoughtful dialogue doesn't really play with talk-radio fans of either political stripe (people in the middle are listening to Jack if they're listening at all). The station more or less has to find another rule-breaking conservative who can keep an audience of dyspeptic middle-aged white men angry enough to keep listening but not enough to go pee on a mosque.

Graham will find another gig somewhere, perhaps in a city where statements like his won't generate a whiff of outrage--hey, maybe even here!--and the net change will be zero. He'll be able to serve a new band of anger junkies, WMAL's ratings will go back up (the dirty secret is that Graham's were way down before this flap), and the rest of us will just give up a little bit more on the idea of dialogue.

Advanced? Overt? Eller er den bare konstruert for å legitimere dårlig smak?

European journalists are finally cottoning to the Advanced Theory, at least as a way to fill weekend column inches. I don't speak Norwegian, and I'm tantalized by the discussion following this piece. It looks like most of them are questioning whether this is a theory at all, which makes me love Europeans all the more.

iBook entrepreneurialism

It's always good to see Americans find their footing after a tragedy and get back to what's really important: selling silly crap to one another. I just paid for the T-shirt I ordered, and on a whim decided to see if any other iTrepreneurs had popped up on eBay.


You can purchase this shirt


This one (truly special)


This one


this one


or this one

Or you can buy a snappy totebag, or some lovely magnets or even some pins.

I do so look forward to a moralizing column from Mark Holmberg on this phenomenon. Will someone please direct him to this website? (You may have to toss a piece of meat onto the keyboard to get his attention.)

Controlling interest

Maybe being the only decent writer in the Times-Dispatch's columnist staff has swelled Michael Paul Williams' head. Maybe his radio doesn't have an off-switch. But after reading Williams' most recent column spelling out the reasons Star & Buc Wild's morning show should be pulled from The Beat 106.5--Star likes Rush and Ayn Rand! He's tasteless and offensive! He appreciates David Cassidy!--I can't help but wonder who's the tasteless moron here.

Obviously, there's something else Williams and local NAACP head King Salim Khalfani, who's received literally tens of complaints about the show, could do about Star's show: Not listen. Of course, being a Richmonder, Williams feels the need to try to control what his fellow citizens do, think, hear and see. In that he's not dissimilar to unreconstructed Boss Hoggs like the Ukrop brothers, who succesfully lead a boycott to keep Howard Stern off the air (Bobby now spends his free hours trying to figure out how to block satellite transmissions of Stern's show) and tried to get city council to pass a law making Marilyn Manson concerts illegal.

It occured to no one of these well-intentioned boobs to simply let the market sort itself out--but that's the achilles heel of most Richmonders of all political stripes: They just don't trust others to make the right decisions! That's probably for good reason--I mean, look at our city council--but just because you don't like something doesn't mean no one else gets to enjoy it.

Moreover Williams' indignance is selective. If he really wants to get offended, he should tune his dial to WRVA, which employs such mental giants as Glenn Beck and Michael Savage. Why's he not campaigning against those bozos?

Sober statistical analysis

If you Google "ibook stampede," you now get 57,400 hits, miles ahead of "Confederates abandon Richmond" (2), "Douglas Wilder" "elected mayor" (616) or even "droopy drawers bill" (2,470).

Conclusion: the riot of August 16 is the most famous event in Richmond history. Until this happens, of course.

Finally a use for the Internet!

Get thee to eBay right now!

On the bright side, perhaps some Apple Store employees got trampled

In accordance with the Ray McAllister Full Employment Act of 2003, Henricoans duly rioted at the $50 iBook sale today, capturing not just local but national media attention.

You have to grudgingly respect people who still stampede--after all, it's not as if it's ever really worked out for anyone except maybe the guy who had red lights all the way to that Who concert in 1979. The only upside I can see to this whole boondoggle is that by insisting that only Henrico residents be allowed to purchase the laptops, they can't blame "outsiders." This is your fine county, ladies and gentleman, in all its stroller-crushing, pants-wetting glory, and I'd like to do my part as a suave City of Richmond resident by offering lessons in etiquette, or at least geopolitical-crisis survival, to any Henricoan who desires to improve upon his or her savage nature.

Accounting for taste

I rarely miss checking River City Rapids, a fine local blog, but I have to officially warn all readers that unlike his other writings, Snoopy's culinary recommendations are beyond suspect. First came a post calling Bottom's Up Richmond's "best pizza". Hey, that could be a simple matter of taste. I happen to like pizza that doesn't taste like a loaf of white bread soaked in ketchup, but de gustibus non est disputandum and all that.

I cannot, though, overlook the sad evidence of Snoop's recent post celebrating the fact that he lived through a meal at the New York Deli, rapturously recalling the taste of its sailor sandwich (to make one yourself, pig out at a barbecue competition, then vomit on a bun). What's worse, he posts a picture of this crime against nature, which I'm pretty sure was illegal in Virginia till a recent Supreme Court decision. Fucking activist judges.

Sorry, couldn't resist

When someone on the Times-Dispatch editorial board asks "Who's a Neanderthal?" I wonder if they've been adequately trained in using those reflective objects--not Bart Hinkle's forehead, the one in the men's room.

The campaign for real rock

I just finished another draft chapter for the book--maybe it will get done on time after all, but right now I'm feeling a bit wild-eyed and wired, and that's why I really appreciate diversions such as Chip Porter's post on the various ways the DNA of Alphaville's "Forever Young" and Sound Dimension's "Real Rock" have mutated through reggae.

Time for a bike ride.

Four-hitter, no walks, complete game

Man, I wish we could see the home team's games on TV. If you're curious why we can't, I tried to explain it here.

Not exactly Must See TV

But I'll be on NBC12 tonight at 5 and 6 p.m. talking about the latest revelations about the downtown performing arts center. If you'd like to see my shiny head melting quickly in the sun, by all means, tune in!

Also this week I'll be guest blogging over at the Advanced Theory blog, so look for me to conclusively prove that Tom Cruise is advanced.