Pucked up

I've been watching the steady erosion in price of Wolfgang Puck self-heating coffees at Kroger, which may now be regretting its deal to exclusively sell them. They started out at about $9 for a four pack a few months ago; yesterday we saw the price had dropped to $2.50 and said, "What the hell?"

It was sort of exciting setting them off, and not just because I take pride in using the share of landfills that vegetarians and people who use cloth diapers yield to complicated packages like this. First you turn the can upside down, then you pop a "top," then you press a button, then you turn it right side up and wonder why nothing's happening. Then you notice that the instruction to "shake first" isn't near the other instructions. So you shake, wondering if you've just sealed your own doom.

The coffee cans heat the contents via a separate chamber containing quicklime and water, which are combined when you press the button.

Slowly--about four minutes later--the coffee has heated itself to a temperature that's downright drinkable. If only I could say the same about the coffee itself. We got the Mocha Java flavor, which sort of tasted like hot chocolate mixed with Miracle-Gro. Still, we're putting the other two cups in our hurricane kit, because after a couple of days without power, hot drinks are a real treat. Even ones that taste like a rat's ass.