On the bright side, perhaps some Apple Store employees got trampled

In accordance with the Ray McAllister Full Employment Act of 2003, Henricoans duly rioted at the $50 iBook sale today, capturing not just local but national media attention.

You have to grudgingly respect people who still stampede--after all, it's not as if it's ever really worked out for anyone except maybe the guy who had red lights all the way to that Who concert in 1979. The only upside I can see to this whole boondoggle is that by insisting that only Henrico residents be allowed to purchase the laptops, they can't blame "outsiders." This is your fine county, ladies and gentleman, in all its stroller-crushing, pants-wetting glory, and I'd like to do my part as a suave City of Richmond resident by offering lessons in etiquette, or at least geopolitical-crisis survival, to any Henricoan who desires to improve upon his or her savage nature.