A little off the top

I am a bald man. I am also lazy and cheap, and these factors tend to combine in a regular nightmare: shaving my head. I don't want to do it--hell, if it was up to me I'd look like Dr. Weil, but I recognize full well that I have to maintain a passing resemblance to youth so I don't freak out anyone I interview by reminding them that we all decay and die. My face is proof enough of that.

Plus my wife won't let me grow a beard.

So I shave my head. Not as regularly as I should--as in most endeavors, I eschew regular maintenance in favor of triage. Did I mention that I'm cheap? The only razor that works well on my bean is the Gillette Mach 3, which I despise because the replacement blades are ridiculously expensive--about $2 each! It's unconscionable! (You may keep your witty comments about animal testing to yourself as I do not care.)

Last year I rebelled and started buying triple-blade cartridges that fit my old Sensor XL from CVS. They worked okay. Not great, but okay. Then one day when I ran out I borrowed one of my wife's Mach 3 cartridges, which fit her Gillette Venus razor but are a lot cheaper than the lady versions. I realized I'd been fooling myself--my generic triple-blades weren't ever gonna, so to speak, cut it.

So I got back on the devil's cock. Yesterday, however, I was at Target resignedly buying more Mach 3 cartridges, as I'd let my hair grow out so long that I looked like Stanley Tucci, when I spotted the bins of disposable razors far below eye level. They were about half the price of the Mach 3 blades, so I bought a pack. I didn't get the Gillette disposables, reasoning that Gillette had an incentive to make them worse than their cash-cow Mach 3s (and yes, I did just finish reading Freakonomics).

I settled on the Bic Comfort 3 Advance, figuring Bic had more to prove. I'd tried only one of their products before, one of those yellow single-blade jobs, which turned my face into bloddy coleslaw. With a little trepidation, I tested the new goods.

They're...okay. I'm gonna try again (no, I really mean it!) in a couple of days and see how they do with a little stubble instead of a headful, okay half-full, of hair. If I've learned anything in this world (and I assure you I haven't), it's that you have to try new products in a couple different situations before passing judgments.

UPDATE: The missus tried one on her legs and said it cut her up. Out they go.